Jokes about lists.

150 Book Jokes. By Laughlore Team Updated on October 25, 2023. Roll out the red carpet for a parade of puns, a flurry of funnies, and a deluge of drollery as we dive into a bibliophile’s dream: a collection of jokes where books take center stage! In the world of jest, we often rely on the humor derived from human folly.Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!"24. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”. 25. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 26. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time.Jun 2, 2023 · I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn ... Here are 55 funny lawyer jokes and the best lawyer puns to crack you up. These jokes about lawyers are great lawyer jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of lawyer dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about lawyers, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this lawyer humor with others. Jump to: Lawyer puns; Lawyer one liners; Best …

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. He orders a bottle of rum. The bartender gives it to him and ask the pirate if that's a new hat on his head. The pirate laughs and tells the bartender, "No matey that's where they put the bounty on me head!" – Gray Starling; Pfafftown, NC.

With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. This list contains 100+ of the best Rizz jokes and puns that are dirty, funny, and poetic to say to a girl or a guy. Rizz Jokes; Rizz Puns; Rizz Jokes. Are you a keyboard? Because you’re my type. If Jesus can turn water into wine, I can turn you into mine. Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest.

To Do List Puns. Today I lost my diary with all my to-do lists. I feel so listless. Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife. What do you call a five year old's to do list? A playlist. Did some tasks on the wife’s “to do” list; May 1, 2023 · A white Christmas! *** Great joke for adults: whales at sea ***. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat – the male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. He asks the female whale “let’s both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.”. Perfect for any festive occasion, you'll find the jokes fit for party enthusiasts of all ages. Spread laughter and the spirit of celebration with these playful jests; they're guaranteed to kickstart any party, and might even make you the life of the celebration! 1. What did the cat say to the disc jockey at the party?Oct 22, 2021 · One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can't cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking ... 7. When your drunk self decides to take a crack at it. ... but then gives up and delegates to sober you. 8. Or when your husband takes the list *too* literally. 9. When a 7-year-old makes a major ...

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Mar 13, 2024 ... 101 likes, 7 comments - dannybraff on March 13, 2024: "Exhaustive List Of Costco Jokes #comedy #standup #costco #jokes".

I've grouped some classics (and new funnies) in familiar categories for easy selection, and put together a large group of 100 side-splitting funny clean jokes. In this Hub, you can look forward to having access to: "Chicken crossing the road" jokes. Animal jokes. PG-rated religion jokes. Knock knock jokes. Computer jokes. Husband and wife jokes.1. Pail. 2. Mop Bucket. 3. Ice Bucket. 4. Car Washing Bucket. 5. Climb Mt. Everest. 6. Livestock Bucket. upvote downvote report. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over …24. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.”. 25. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 26. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time.One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy …Mar 13, 2024 ... 101 likes, 7 comments - dannybraff on March 13, 2024: "Exhaustive List Of Costco Jokes #comedy #standup #costco #jokes".

Guests Jokes. This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests there, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. So she approached him, smiled and said politely, "Hello, my name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name", he replied, "Is it a family name?"Jul 1, 2023 ... When you need a good giggle in the middle of a stressful day, turn to this list of IT puns and tech jokes to bring a smile to your face.150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and …This joke may contain profanity. 🤔. I am over 18. You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it...11. Slapstick/Physical Jokes. A slapstick is a simple comedic tool made of two pieces of wood. If you “hit” someone with a slapstick, the wood pieces smack together and make a loud noise. It looks and sounds like the person really got slapped, but in fact, the slapstick won’t hurt them at all.Joke has 80.16 % from 2013 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, jewish, racist. A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school... Teacher: "Whats your name?" Boy: "Nadir" Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today." Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?"

Of course, even if we don’t quite understand the joke itself, it’s pretty amusing to see that even thousands of years ago, people were still making jokes where folks were walking into bars. Even better, instead of the long-faced horse from “modern” anecdotes, the Sumerians were already envisioning dogs doing this job. Tom Brady took some major hits when he was roasted by his former teammates, comedians and even Kim Kardashian during Netflix’s “The Greatest Roast of …

Jun 2, 2023 · I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn ... A rainbow. How do bees get to school? A school buzz. What’s a chick’s favorite food? Egg-plant. 20 Knock Knock Jokes For Kids. Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow.List of Golf Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Golf Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to … Honest Brand Slogans. Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by a corporation.”. Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”. CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know ... The hip replacement joke, “Hip replacement? He was never hip to begin with!” is written to go along with a hip replacement cartoon by Marty Bucella that jokes about the character’s...Funniest jokes to tell your friends. If you’re looking for great jokes to tell your friends to make them laugh, then look no further. Here are 14 super funny jokes that are sure to make your friends laugh out loud. 1. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.Father's Day jokes that'll prove you inherited Dad's funny bone. Halloween jokes guaranteed to have kids and adults cackling with delight. From corny puns to funny one-liners, these are the best ...4. The youth pastor walked toward us as we gathered in the church lot for the youth group service. “I’m sorry,” he said. “The only thing left is the donuts.”. 5. After the donuts were finished, the youth pastor went to the podium and began teaching. He reminded us, “Let us hold to our confection – er, confession.I made a list of the top 10 most popular wordplay jokes, to see if any of them actually made me laughIt’s impossible to put down! Corny Jokes. On the opposite end of the spectrum, corny dad jokes are less about humour and more about repetition. These are the unfunny instalments that don’t really garner a great response, cultivated over years of practice and delivered with unassuming ease. Hi hungry, I’m dad!

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Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck. Yo mama’s so fat, she needs GPS to find her own feet. Yo mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits next to everybody. Yo mama’s so fat, she needs a forklift to get out of bed. Yo mama’s so fat, her shadow weighs fifty pounds.

Jun 2, 2023 · I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t get it. I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking. I have a joke about hunting for fossils, but you probably wouldn ... The jokes for math majors on this list cover a wide berth of topics ranging from algebra to geometry to even a bit of calculus just to spice things up. These jokes for math majors might seem impenetrable, but once you put on your thinking cap, you’ll be rolling on the floor of your university’s Math wing laughing.Jan 7, 2022 · All bottled up. “We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a ... Stock up on these dad jokes, corny puns and funny knock-knock jokes to use the next time you need a good laugh.1 reranks. Voting Rules. Vote up any funny joke about lawyers and attorneys. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the ...Oct 25, 2023 · 150 School Jokes. School can be a roller coaster of emotions, packed with joyous moments, challenging hurdles, and, of course, a significant amount of learning. But amidst all the study hours and the endless flow of homework, there’s always room for a good, hearty laugh. This collection of school jokes is designed to lighten your mood and add ... Jokes are a fantastic way to bond and share lighthearted moments. In this compilation, we’ve gathered over 147+ hilarious one-liners that revolve around women and their quirks. These jokes are meant to entertain and bring smiles to your face. So, get ready to embrace the humor and let the giggles roll! Read more: jokes about mommy.If you're ready for some good laughs, but don't have a ton of time, these short jokes will do the trick, from quick jokes for adults to funny ones for kids.

Why was the broom late to school? It over-swept! What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels! What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen!One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy …One of the key aspects of successful content marketing is capturing your audience’s attention. During the holiday season, people are often looking for light-hearted and entertainin...Instagram:https://instagram. las vegas free parking Sep 17, 2022 · After reading through all these monkey jokes we hope you had a good laugh. If you want to hear more funny animal jokes, then check out these other great lists of funny jokes: Bee jokes; Jokes about dolphins; Dinosaur jokes for kids; Funny dog puns 3 nurses walk into a patient's bedroom only to find him dead. The first nurse goes to check on him and notices that he had a massive erection so she tells the other nurses to give him a good send off by have sex with him. The first nurse does it and stops after getting tired. The second does the same and stops to share with the third nurse. boston flights to miami Look no further because I’ve got you covered with 75 hilarious jokes about all things history. These jokes will not only tickle your funny bone but also impress your friends with your wit and cleverness. We’ll be cracking puns about famous figures and making clever quips about significant events throughout time. portugal to english My manhood is only six inches, but it smells like a foot. —–. 29. A man and his family are staying at a hotel. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled. No, it’s just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck. —–. 30. Doing the business in elevators is great on so many levels.They are, just as usual, a bit further down, and once you are there, do not forget to vote for the most biting, the most stinging, the most violently ironic jokes you find. After all that is well and done, share this entertaining article with your friends. After all, an irony a day keeps your mental health a-OK! #1. blue cross of kansas Funny Toilet Jokes. My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you’re sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re laughing, send me your smile. If you’re eating, send me a bite. If you’re drinking, send me a sip. If you’re crying, send me your tears. I love you!”.To Do List Puns. Today I lost my diary with all my to-do lists. I feel so listless. Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife. What do you call a five year old's to do list? A playlist. Did some tasks on the wife’s “to do” list; how to get deleted messages back on android List of Jokes About Internet. 1. Why did the computer go to art school? Because it wanted to become a pixel painter! 2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many “problems” to solve! 3.The Best School Jokes Ever Told. Vote up any funny joke about school or students. A list of the funniest jokes about going to school that you’ve ever heard. Outside of these school jokes, there’s nothing funny about the classroom. Seriously, we tried to think about something else that was funny about taking tests and dealing with windbag ... melio payment This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy! 7. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. He says they always cum in handy. That sounds like a sticky situation! 8. If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.Dec 29, 2023 · Make a noise like a carrot. A driver and a zebra are out for a drive when they get pulled over by the police. The police officer looks in the car and says “You need to take that zebra to the zoo.”. So the driver turned around and took the zebra to the zoo right away. how do i clear the cache on my computer Although humor is subjective, one of the funniest jokes according to Stuff You Couldn’t Make Up is: Snake one, “Are we poisonous?” Snake two, “I don’t know, why?” Snake one, “I jus... International researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes (from across the world wide web) and narrowed them down to a list of 50, and then 36,000 people voted. We love the Joke of the Day and organizations that use the Joke of the Day as a way to create a humor culture, so here are the top 10 funniest jokes ever told that you can use for your ... flights from houston to fort lauderdale A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there ... mini arcade game Bobbie: “The skinny one comes out when he is in the toilet. The fat one comes out to brush my nanny’s teeth.”. Life is like a pen*s: women can make it hard in an instant. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”. memphis to miami Here are some great poop joke one liners that you can quip whenever someone is talking about poop. Poop is a crap palindrome. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. They said pooping is a call of nature. So is farting a missed call. Parent’s truth: The further you are from the bathroom, the more urgently your kid needs …Funny clean jokes. 1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. 2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. fsu game Dec 7, 2020 · Michael Schulman on ten great performances. is a newsletter editor at The New Yorker. Ian Crouch rounds up the funniest moments, intentional and otherwise, of 2020, including Trump impressions ... They say a joke becomes a dad joke when it becomes apparent. We would say it's when it's all groan. (Sorry.) The post 151 Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader's ...